In the restaurant business, you’re bound to run into challenging situations. Maybe it’s a guest who seems impossible to please, a team member who just isn’t pulling their weight, or even a moment where you feel personally attacked. It’s easy to react emotionally—but before you do, ask yourself two simple questions:
- What are the facts in this situation?
- What story am I telling myself about those facts?
This small shift in thinking helps you step outside the heat of the moment and assess the reality of what’s happening, rather than just how it feels. And when you do that, you open up a whole new range of possibilities for how to respond.
The Power of the Realistic Optimism Lens
Realistic optimism is about crafting the most empowering version of events—without distorting reality. Instead of defaulting to defensiveness or frustration, you intentionally search for a perspective that serves you better. Ask yourself:
How would I act here at my best?
This mindset doesn’t mean ignoring problems or sugarcoating reality. It simply means choosing to approach challenges with a focus on solutions rather than personal offense. By doing so, you regain control over your response and create the best possible outcome.
The Reverse Lens: Seeing Through Their Eyes
Sometimes, the real breakthrough comes from understanding the perspective of the person who triggered you. This doesn’t mean dismissing your own viewpoint but rather widening it. The person you see as difficult likely views the situation differently. Two key questions to consider:
- How does their perspective make sense?
- What is my responsibility in resolving this?
Empathy is one of the most powerful tools you have. When you make a genuine effort to appreciate another person’s point of view, you not only defuse tension but also reclaim your own sense of value in the situation.
The Long Lens: Looking Beyond the Moment
Sometimes, your concerns about a person’s behavior are valid. Maybe they are difficult, or even unfair. But rather than getting stuck in frustration, ask yourself:
How can I grow and learn from this experience?
Taking the long view helps turn every challenge into an opportunity for growth. It moves you from victimhood to leadership, making you stronger, wiser, and more adaptable over time.
The Takeaway
Difficult people and tough situations are part of the game. But how you handle them is entirely up to you. By using realistic optimism, considering other perspectives, and focusing on growth, you transform obstacles into opportunities—and that’s the mindset of a true leader.
